Heart-break is painful. There is no way around that. The loss of a loved one is devastating. It breaks you down. It tears you apart. The life that you thought you were living is no more. The person you thought you were, has died with your loved one. As much as you might wish that it could be different, this is the stark reality that must be faced. The death of a loved one is a wake up call to reality. The reality that we do actually die. The dream bubble bursts and you are left standing alone with no one to hold your hand. You feel the roller-coaster of emotions. You feel the cycles between numbness to insanity. And all of this is a cracking open and open.
When, nearly 3 years ago, her husband Robert Hanuman died, Unmani turned inside out. But right from the beginning, she could see the heart-breaking gift in it all. It was the gift of Love. The gift of seeing that our love never dies. The gift of seeing that Love is not dependent on a body. But also the gift of this cracking open and open. Paradoxically, even though she recognised this gift, it didn't save her from actually feeling the terrible, knife-stabbing pain. The human heartbreak goes on, and at the same time you know that it is only ever Love. Love holding you in the wild ride of being human. Love breaking you open to Love itself.
It continues to crack open and open to Love. It is a never-ending heart opening. She lives my love for Robert. She lives as Love. And love is not only the sweet feelings, but also the willingness to face and feel the intensity of everything that life brings, and let it continually crack you open.