#69 Rethinking Attachment Towards Relational Wholeness

While Attachment Theory has offered many valuable insights, its foundations reflect certain limiting assumptions. Originally formulated based on white, Western nuclear family structures, Attachment Theory is rooted in White cis-het settler-colonizer patriarchal paradigms that hyper-emphasise dyadic relationships within a nuclear family. Yet we humans participate in relationships far beyond just our early caretakers.

Many of us feel profound connections across generations – to ancestors, spiritual traditions, and cultural lineages. We also bond deeply with the living world around us, from animals and plants to rivers and forests. And in today’s complex global society, our close relational circles extend to friends, chosen families, and communities near and far.

When we experience trauma, secure attachment with a handful of early caregivers alone cannot suffice to heal our deep relational wounds. We need a more expansive vision – one that engages the full web of relationships anchoring our lives. The connections we share run far deeper than any one theory can capture.

What would it mean to reconceptualize secure attachment more holistically? How might embracing the relational richness of our multi-layered lives help transform isolation into belonging?